Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
