I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
