well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
