Welp...herpes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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