Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
