Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
