My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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