i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize