I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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