Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
