Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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