Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
