I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
