She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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