i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
