we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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