I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
