I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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