Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
