the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
