may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
