Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't put those talents on a resume
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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