Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize