he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
