There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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