I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
