Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
