Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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