if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
