There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
