Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
