haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
