Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
