Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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