dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
