YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
