Jerry, you need to find god
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize