lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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