Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize