i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
