i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
