so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
