What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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