And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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