What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They took my balls.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
There are leaves in my underwear?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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