Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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