i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
