I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
