Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
