This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
