I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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