We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize