Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
