I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
