this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
