so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize