Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
