Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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