Non-Jews are for practice
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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