Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We have started to decorate penises.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
