I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I touched a dick in church today
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
