I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
