oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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