Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize