he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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