i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
