Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
