Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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